Early Imprints of Love and Connection
When babies are born, they are dependent on their parents for care and security. Our brains are designed to imprint a caregiver’s face as our “chosen object” of devotion and love. As we grow, society teaches us to redirect that love and respect toward other chosen objects. In faith-based cultures, the chosen object may be a spiritual figure such as Jesus, Buddha, Abraham, Siva, or Ganesha. In relationships, it might be a partner or friend, and in learning environments, it can be a teacher or subject of study.
Like many children, my chosen object was my mother.
The Pain of Loss and Early Awareness
When I was nine, I realized my mother would die. While sitting in meditation, I asked God if she would die, and the answer was yes. I told her, but she didn’t believe me. Three years later, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and passed away when I was sixteen.
Losing her meant losing my chosen object. Even though I was deeply religious, I already understood that every being is an embodiment of God. I knew no intermediary was required to connect with the Divine because God lives within each of us. Yet, I had unconsciously imprinted on my mother as my world.
Navigating Grief and Responsibility
Within three months of my mother’s passing, my father had a heart attack and stroke that left him paralyzed on his left side. He could no longer work and passed away 21 months later due to complications.
As an only child, he left the care of his aging parents in my hands. Over the next twelve years, I cared for my grandfather, who passed from Alzheimer’s, and my grandmother, who died from leukemia.
A Pilgrimage Toward Self and Spirit
After my grandmother’s passing three years ago, I began an intensive pilgrimage inward—to the Self. I studied, meditated, prayed, sang, practiced yoga, and chanted. Through this deep inner work, I unearthed a pearl of wisdom: Perception is not reality, and reality is not perception. There is no true loss—only opportunities to awaken more deeply into Christ consciousness.
Shifting Perception of Loss
At first, my perception of loss felt absolute. Yet, when I asked what was truly real—without projection or conditioned responses—I could see the truth: all humans die. My parents and grandparents were human, and death is a natural part of that experience.
Loss is defined as the process of losing someone or something, but when I looked deeper, I realized I hadn’t truly lost anything. Instead, I had gained the chance to care, love, and share in the lives of four beautiful souls. To “lose” something implies not knowing where it is—but I know where Source returns: back to Source.
My learned sense of loss was a reflection of societal influence, not spiritual truth.
Finding Wholeness Through Awareness
Now, I understand that every experience—no matter how painful—offers a path toward deeper connection with Self, Source, and Soul. My perception once blinded me, especially as a child, but with maturity, I see how love flows endlessly through all things.
This awareness has opened me to the vastness of compassion, generosity, and divine connection. Sitting here after a day of yoga therapy, reading, and family time, I feel deeply grateful for the design of Christ consciousness. When we fully surrender to Source, we find the power to forgive, to love unconditionally, and to nourish both ourselves and others.
Through this awareness, I feel whole, complete, and balanced. I now understand my true chosen object—and I know how to nurture that awareness to continue my journey with grace and clarity.