I was born in Andrews, TX to a couple in their late thirties who had previously been married to each other’s spouses, respectively. My mother was beautiful in her own unique way, and my father’s heart was his ultimate salvation. I was the oldest of two children, and we grew up in a culture clash of poverty and wealth.
I don’t talk much about my teenage years because I’ve tried to push them away, but I suppose part of the healing process is holding for the entirety of the experience. My mother was clinically depressed and slept most everyday, and my father was physically and psychologically abusive. Neither one of my parents held a job on the regular, so we were at the mercy of my grandparents, who lived in Austin.
Thankfully, my father’s parents supported the family throughout my youth. When I was in middle school my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer which started me down a four year downward spiral of drugs and alcohol abuse. My mother fought cancer for four years before dying in 1994. Within months my father had a heart attack and a stroke, and my brother was in foster care.
I cleaned up, got my GED, enrolled in community college, and began saving for my future. My brother remained in foster care for several years, a ward of The State. I lived with my grandmother in exchange for maintaining curfew and good grades. I eventually left Austin and moved to Albuquerque, NM to attend the University of New Mexico.
I arrived back in Austin and swiftly married my husband right after college. I worked in advertising, and my husband, Chris was about to begin a career with The US Department of State. We moved to Northern Virginia, and within the year we were moving oversees on assignment in Kuwait. We lived in Kuwait and Israel for over five years before coming back home in 2006. While we were abroad I took responsibility for my grandfather as his legal guardian and had three children.
After caring for and living through the loss of my mother, father, grandfather, and grandmother I found myself in an existential crisis. I looked at my family of five, my brother who was clinically depressed and moderately unstable, my career as an educator, and my dharma as a mother and yogi, and I decided to live my life more authentically. I had a moment of reckoning where I realized that the life I had imagined was not reality, and the life I have is so much more than I ever expected.
My dharma, my lineage is to be a support. To teach those who want to be taught, and to love unconditionally through all the ups and downs that this experience of life presents. In the midst of this epiphany I recognized the running, the doing, and the ever present aversion. It was magic, really, that I could learn to love, to let go, and to come home all in the same experience. It goes to show that every experience is an opportunity for healing and growth. It’s an opportunity to step into your unique potential and see your light through a clear lens.
I currently share my experience with my three beautiful children, my wonderful husband, and my carefree dog. I’ve decided to take some time out each day to check in and write some simple words of gratitude for the opportunity to arrive fully in each moment. I invite you to join me as we look at life, nature, food, and yoga through the lens of loving kindness. I’m excited to see where this new chapter takes me.
Sincerely,
~ Michelle